Chronic Illness vs. Travel Blogging
Wanted to Blog But….
Ok. I admit it. I had to take a week off last week. It's the last thing I wanted to do. I'd been burning the candle at both ends every day for weeks straight. My blog is only 4 months old and I have so much that I need to do. I wanted to blog but, I couldn’t do it. It’s a battle that I’m not alone in fighting. Chronic illness vs. travel blogging.
I battled guilt all week. "What would Gary Vanerchuck say? I'm not crushing it this week". "He's gonna be SO mad at me."
In addition to being Bipolar type 2, I also have Fibromyalgia. It's a condition that leaves me more fatigued than not and some days my muscles hurt so bad, it's hard to get out of bed. But I do. Imagine going to the gym and working out super hard. That pain you feel the day after is what people with fibromyalgia feel most of the time. It can be quite debilitating. I'm always tender to the touch or more tired than I should be.
But screw that! I’m determined to hustle. Gotta follow those Entrepreneurial dreams. There’s a hut in Chiang Mai calling.
Week after week I’ve gotten up, and immediately opened my laptop. And started my daily grind. My goal is to post 3 times a week. But last week. I didn’t post at all.
I want to live the digital nomad life and travel world. But could barely get out of bed last week. "What the hell? Is the career going to work for me?"
Of course, it will! Don't be so dramatic!
People with fibromyalgia also have a thing called "fibro fog", which basically means your mind is cloudy, you can't concentrate. You're forgetful and your tired as hell. Imagine the feeling in your head after taking a bunch of antihistamines. That's fibro fog.
And no, caffeine doesn’t help. I’m the queen of the non-functional iced coffee with 4 shots of espresso. It does nothing…is crack still cheap?
After a few days of waking up, feeling as if I didn't sleep I decided to give myself a week off. I spent that time watching YouTube videos of Travel Vloggers that I love to get inspiration. I did my assignment for Nomadic Matts Superstar Blogging Course, which is awesome by the way. I tried to be as productive as possible. But I felt this nagging guilt.
"How the hell am I'm going to be a successful travel blogger when I have days that I'm just so worn down? Can I do this?"
“Shouldn’t I be learning to surf or rock climb or something?"
You Will Be Determined…In Bed (A Chronic Illness Fortune Cookie)
No, not on that way. Although….since I was in bed it would have been nice to….but I digress. I decided that if I cannot blog this week that I would still spend as much time as possible learning. Not feeling creative is common when you have a cloudy head. But if you want something you have to find a way. I know I'm not the only entrepreneur that has some sort of chronic Illness. Many people suffer in silence and you only get to see the image that they allow you to see.
Last week was not my shining hour. And kept thinking "I'm just starting, I can't take a break now". But sometimes you have to listen to what your body is telling you. That in NO WAY means that you cannot be what you want to be. It's helpful in these times to remember:
I'm working to follow my dreams…I just can't do it today. And that's ok
Tomorrow is a new day and a chance to start fresh.
If tomorrow comes and I'm still not well, there's always another day
Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will a travel blog be (insert your goal)
I will NOT let this (insert your chronic illness) run my life and the days that I can't work are only minor setbacks
Even our hero's struggle with something, we just don't know what with.
But if you want something you have to find a way…Many people suffer on silence and you only get to see the image that they allow you to see.
Goals Are Achievable…Your Pace is Your Own
These are just some of the things that I have to remind myself to help me get back on track.
This week is a new week and it’s time to take it head on. There's a big world out there to tackle. You just don't have to tackle it all today.
If you are going through something similar, I'd love to hear from you. How do you get through the rough days?